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    b****n 0 Bury ten million

    by The Boy Holty

    Bury bowed out of the league cup at the first round stage for the 250th consecutive season last night in distressing circumstances. While virtually cruising to a relatively comfortable 1-0 win against a team 2 divisions above us, we conceded a soft penalty to send the tie into extra time, and then let the opposition take control with two further goals which effectively ended the match for us.

    To be fair, Bury didn't play particularly well, we hadn't needed to as we matched a very poor b****n side. There were moments when the quality difference was there to see but they weren't able to create anything from it and ultimately the two sides seemed very well matched.

    Bury took the lead in the 20th minute when an Andrew Tutte cross was hammered home by returning hero Ryan Lowe and from that moment on we looked fairly comfortable.

    The home side had a few chances but Shwan Jalal did well to keep them at bay. The game actually turned a few minutes before half time when Jalal picked up an injury and was replaced during the break by former wanky wanderer Rob Lainton. To be fair to Lainton he did very well for the first 50 minutes of the second half. Gathering crosses with ease and making a few key saves but then after a massive six minutes of injury time had been announced, and five of them played, he had a rush of blood to the head and made an un-necessary challenge in the box on Jermain Beckford and the ref pointed to the spot in one of the most heart-breaking moments of the season so far.

    The penalty was despatched with aplomb, despite Lainton going the right way, and we headed into extra time.

    Both of our other subs had been geared towards seeing the game out at 1-0, while b****n had brought on some of their better players, who looked like they had been placed on the bench in case they needed extra firepower. As such they had some attacking quality on the pitch which enabled them to score twice in the opening minutes of extra time, one a forced own goal from the excellent Chris Sedgwick and the other a quite brilliant free kick from Neil Danns. A minute later and captain Jim McNulty got on the end of a Nicky Adams free kick to bring it to 3-2 and to give us a chance.

    Despite a huge penalty appeal in the final seconds, b****n held out and it finished 3-2 to the championship side.

    On the evidence of last night, b****n have a long hard season ahead, just in case anyone cares. Although I'm fairly confident we'll be there again next season, playing them in the league.

    Bury had a reported 2448 out of a crowd of 9249 although it felt like more than that.

    All in all it was a gut wrenching evening and I feel utterly deflated. At work today in my office in b****n, I'm not talking to anyone. I want to go home, I want to go home. b****n's a shit-hole. I want to go home.